The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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