I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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