i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
