hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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