she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
