Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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