Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
