thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
