and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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