Kareoke will never be a sober sport
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
