how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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