if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
