She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
