just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
