Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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