my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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