Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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