awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
