batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
