There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
