Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
