He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
