yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
This baby is an asshole
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
