She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
