Small penises have feelings too.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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