The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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