Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
