dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
