8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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