dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
