Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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