I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize