I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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