I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
