He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
