yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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