Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
