I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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