I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
