please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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