STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
