Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
there's paper in my vomit.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
