No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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