best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
