Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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