I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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