how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
