Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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