i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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