saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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