and you said cock pushups were impossible
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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