Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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