so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
