whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
