Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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