I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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